I would like to take this moment to point out that I don’t tend to go out of my way in order to bash any particular country, there are annoying elements about every country, having said that, it just so happens that America either has more than its fair share of annoying elements or the average American is louder than everyone else.
Annoying phrases:
“I could care less”
This statement never ceases to amaze me. When a person says this what they actually mean to say is “I couldn’t care less” because this correct version indicates that the person cares so little about a particular topic that they don’t feel it is possible to care any less, while the aforementioned incorrect version just shows how illiterate that person is.
“110%”
Or any other percentage beyond 100, usually heard spoken by sport “personalities” when describing the amount of effort they intend on putting into a performance, “I promise to give it 110%, as I always do”. This trend has sadly reached the British shores in recent years, and it saddens me. 100% is the maximum possible amount of effort, or anything else for that matter, stop this madness!
“We won the war!”
This statement is of course referring to World War 2, and any British readers will most likely have heard this statement multiple times, especially if you happen to play any multiplayer war games. I will do my best to clear this one up, you could say I’ll give it 110%, but that would be a filthy lie! For those Americans who believe this statement to be true, it’s pretty simple really, if a party is scheduled to begin at 9pm, you can’t just stroll in at five minutes to midnight with a bottle in your hand, or in this case two atom bombs, and expect to be crowned the life and soul of the party.
Misuse of the English language:
(This might seem a bit rich coming from a Scot, but trust me when I say that we are perfectly aware of our misuse, we just choose not to correct it, while many Americans don’t acknowledge the error of their ways.)
“A-loo-min-um”
I believe the word people are searching for is “Aluminium”. Say it after me, A-loo-min-e-um, if we work together on this the world will be a much better place.
“Erb”
I know what you might be thinking, “Erb isn’t a word”, and if you are thinking this, well done, you pass with flying colours, if you’re not thinking this, please pay attention. “Herb” is a word, it’s a good word, and without this word you couldn’t write “Herbs and Spices” and this would be a disaster. Please, don’t be afraid of that H, pronounce it and feel proud that you’re not as illiterate as your neighbour.
“Nu-cu-lar”
To any Presidents of the United States who happen to be reading this, while sitting on the toilet, you know; deciding on which country to invade next or something, read this word and then try pronouncing it properly, “Nuclear”.
Please note: I love Americans.
